Dan talks about his mother he cares for who has a learning disability

I live with my mother who has a learning disability. There are a lot of things I have to help her with but some situations cause a lot of frustration. My mother is unable to read or write properly. Every day when the mail comes I have to read her letters; you have to be sure that you can be trusted when you’re reading certain things for example bank statements. At Christmas time I have to write out all the cards for her and the only thing she can write is her name as a signature. I also have to write her letters if she wants to send any.

My mum finds it hard to understand how important my exams are and how much I have to revise for them; she requires me to do housework most of the time and calls me lazy if I can’t because I’ve got so much to do.

If we ever argue mum reacts differently and sometimes it’s hard to control. At times when things aren’t funny she laughs and I find it hard to keep my temper because I sometimes wished she understood how pressured I feel although I know she can’t help it.

In general I have to be able to have patience with her, sometimes it’s hard to know how she would react and you have to be careful what you say to her because you can be misunderstood very easily.

I spoke to someone at school and she recommended that I look at www.mencap.org.uk. I didn’t know at the time but it said on that website that ‘8 out of 10 families caring for people with profound and multiple learning disabilities have reached ‘breaking point’ because of the lack of support they get in their caring roles.’ Reading this made me realise that I was not alone and that there were places I could go for support. This made me feel better and more confident when I was around my mum.